doode. when was the last time i updated? back in october mangg. my senior year is already more than half goneee.

only 3 more months of school left. where has the time gonee?

so a lot of things has happen. & i kid yu not when i say a lot. i don't noee...this use to be my notebook & it was how i expressed myself. i don't noe when i stopped but i feel like i needa comee back. i need to let go of everythingg.

so. first thing first.

i am the most fickle person you can ever meet. & i admit it. i don't noe what i want. i like to experiment and try new things. & that applies to love. can i even call it that? so, my heart wouldnt let me settle down. i have to be up & about. just when i thot i've found the right guy...it just didn't work out despite our history together. so i had to let that go. i noe i hurted him but i can't force the situation. i noe saying i'm sorry won't change anything but instead if i have the chance i would want to tell him 'thank you'. for what he has shown me and made me realize. too bad our friendship was on the line for this & things will never be the same.

so far so goood. i learned & realized so many things. it's just not the same no more with me and everyone else. it's not a bad thing because then when it's time to go, i can honestly tell myself it's been wonderful & i noe we'll always be here for each other. it's nothing to be sad about really. we're all grown up now. it's that natural process i've been told about.

turning 18, christmas, new friends, getting my car, breaking free from my parents, nearing the end of my internship. i can go on. i have absolutely no regrets; just things that i couldn't have done better. i have a lot of fun & more is on the way. i wanna make the best of my last high school year.

a little rift here & there but heyy that's life.

no matter how old i get there's always that one thing that can makee my head spin a little. lol.

so, this thing happened with this person that i would have never thought in a million years would happen. she told me that...things happen for a reason. & i guess the bringing of uss together happened for a reason right? good or bad i'll take it.

truth be told, i'm not expecting much. butt...this feeelin makes me feeel like a freshmen agen. this little crush of mine. gettin mad over little things. confused about the big things. mix signals & hesitation. smiles of the text messages and conversations.

he drives me nuts actually.

one minutee, everything is about me. then it seems likee it's not like that. i try to pull myself away but he picks just the right time to say something or do something. it's really silly. thats why i feel like a kid agen. just those little things that makes me smile yu noe? i needa to update more. for myself.

i've noticed nobody uses this anymoree. maybe that's why it's sucha sanctuary for bloggers :]

so yeah. senior year. not much sleep. but hey im happy.

well kinda needa catch up or else wen im older im gonna go senile. hehee

so senior year is going well so far. senior portraits im taking soon. SAT's are this saturday. URGHH. rally is on the 22nd of this month. kinda early but okay. been talking to people and deciding what colleges to go to. i think i set my priority straight. i even know what i need to pursue my career. but things do change my opinions may shift but i have something in mind right now. my classes are fine. its not boring & it keeps my interested...except PRE-CAL. i was kinda struggling at first but ended up with an A & now i found a way. SELF TAUGHT. i just started so im gonna see how it goes. if it dont work out i gotta go tutoring which i dont mind.

the four of us been busy with work and whatnot & only have time for each other at lunch. soooo they came to work with me on friday and volunteered den after that went to eat at CHAMPA GARDEN...it was a cold day so it was some goood ass KA PAIK yo! debbies parents called her and told her they went camping so i was like i shoulda come over to SLEEP! it was a suggestion at first den everyone began to agree on it! so debbie asked my mother for me and she approved den sandra badass found a way out WINK WINK and shirley overcame her mother and came too. sandra and shirley are now my role model for what they did. so me and debbie went to get sandra. debbie drove. at night. COOL. hhaha. and shirley came. LOL. so the 4 of us spent the whole night dancing and talking. omgod you do not have no idea how fun it was. it was jus talk talk talk. we played a truth truth game and it was so personal. we got so personal that we laughed till we choke. man my throat and stomach hurt the next day from all the laughing. hehee. it felt wonderful to be together and catch up. we all realized that its our senior year and every moment together is precious. we talked until our eyes couldn't stay open & we were pratically laughing in our sleep. you noe how that goes. lol. so yeah it was 5:30 when we fell asleep. too bad sandra and shirley had to leave early but hey we stayed up to 5:30 so that mean we didn't waste n e time. i love them <33

& the thing that's taking up most of my time beside school is work. man something about it i just love DESPITE the stubborn kids, kids that don't shut up, and those that sasss me. i can deal with them cause i use to be like that HAHA. but man i love it so much. juss something about teaching them the things that i MYSELF struggled with. juss to be there for them like how I didn't have anyone at the age. i told myself i can never be teacher but with this job teaching can be something for me in the future. not the first on the list though. and man my co-workers? there's almost 40 and i'm tellin you its ONE BIG FAMILY. in the beginning i was shy and dint' know much. but what my frend told me was true. take my time. & i did. and now everyone noe everyone. everyone greet everyone and get to know one another. it's like my 2nd favorite place to be. my first is with my DORKS =] i've always worked with small groups who has a variety of interest but with my work place? it's all about kids whether you like it or not. i never had that feeling of having one big family before & man i love it.